Adoration, one of a kind!

This week I’m requesting for a public opinion on this subject matter: what do you think of love when age gap is huge and you and your “lover” is somewhat related? Okay, I think the latter is probably more eye-catching than the first, aight? Well, for a start, no, this isn’t about brotherly love or father-daughter stuff. This is relative. Your relative. To make a head start on this discussion, I view it firstly as pure mortification! Alright, maybe that’s more than a tad too far for a first reaction, but you get the idea. I somehow feel ashamed about it. Though I must stressed that I’m not the one venting the “love”, but somewhat I felt guilty enough for triggering it or causing it in the first place (believe me, it was unconciously done). So, am I still living in this shamefulness hut? Nope, not anymore. Nor did I confuse myself or getting myself riled up for no reasons at all. You know what, at the peak of this craziness, I nearly thought I was in love with this person! Gosh! That’s absolutely non-sensically mental! When I give it a thought now, it’s just so lunatic, I refuse myself to even think further. My whole heart, body, soul, and mind just rejected the whole idea of thinking about it even! Just imagine how much they loath it.

            Now, the key question that keeps popping in my already full-filled head is WHY? WHY ME? Yeap, that big Y. I mean, it felt so weird just even thinking about it? How could it happened in the first place? What did I do to cause such a ludricous feeling to occur? Each time these question arises, I am left speechless. I am just being myself, and if it happened, surely that person must have adored me. I mean, seriously, this is hard to digest. Someone adores me? Me? This me? Moi? Okay, that’s enough and that’s clear to everyone that I didn’t take this adoration very easily. It’s better that I don’t know anything about it rather than knowing it. My freakish-ness or shall I put it, clumsiness whilst realizing this matter of fact, is simply unbearable (even my own self couldn’t handle it!). Alright, coming back to this akward situation. This fellow actually did something I was hoping that special someone will do for me. I don’t want to go with the details as I assume that person might be reading this blog too (I hope not, yikes!). Well, put it this way, if this person is not somehow that gappy young and related to me, this relationship might have taken a different direction and who am I to object? Hang on, I will object. You know why? Reality is, I don’t really adore this fellow that much. Especially that long sulking attitude this person had. Seriously! I don’t need that, I don’t want to waste too much time trying to win back his attention, whatever mate! I want someone matured enough to justify my actions and accepts my weaknesses and I to him. If this is one sided effort, my hands are already up and away, waving goodbye to you~ life is complicated enough, there’s no need to further complicate it.

            Now, I am happier~ I learn a lot from this mishap. I guess if you’re just not into it, don’t encourage it. You’re just confusing yourself and not to mention, the trouble you could get into. So, here I am still in search for the one. Or am I really doing that? Honestly, no. I’m not in search. I’m just too happy being single to change it. =)