Adoration, one of a kind!

This week I’m requesting for a public opinion on this subject matter: what do you think of love when age gap is huge and you and your “lover” is somewhat related? Okay, I think the latter is probably more eye-catching than the first, aight? Well, for a start, no, this isn’t about brotherly love or father-daughter stuff. This is relative. Your relative. To make a head start on this discussion, I view it firstly as pure mortification! Alright, maybe that’s more than a tad too far for a first reaction, but you get the idea. I somehow feel ashamed about it. Though I must stressed that I’m not the one venting the “love”, but somewhat I felt guilty enough for triggering it or causing it in the first place (believe me, it was unconciously done). So, am I still living in this shamefulness hut? Nope, not anymore. Nor did I confuse myself or getting myself riled up for no reasons at all. You know what, at the peak of this craziness, I nearly thought I was in love with this person! Gosh! That’s absolutely non-sensically mental! When I give it a thought now, it’s just so lunatic, I refuse myself to even think further. My whole heart, body, soul, and mind just rejected the whole idea of thinking about it even! Just imagine how much they loath it.

            Now, the key question that keeps popping in my already full-filled head is WHY? WHY ME? Yeap, that big Y. I mean, it felt so weird just even thinking about it? How could it happened in the first place? What did I do to cause such a ludricous feeling to occur? Each time these question arises, I am left speechless. I am just being myself, and if it happened, surely that person must have adored me. I mean, seriously, this is hard to digest. Someone adores me? Me? This me? Moi? Okay, that’s enough and that’s clear to everyone that I didn’t take this adoration very easily. It’s better that I don’t know anything about it rather than knowing it. My freakish-ness or shall I put it, clumsiness whilst realizing this matter of fact, is simply unbearable (even my own self couldn’t handle it!). Alright, coming back to this akward situation. This fellow actually did something I was hoping that special someone will do for me. I don’t want to go with the details as I assume that person might be reading this blog too (I hope not, yikes!). Well, put it this way, if this person is not somehow that gappy young and related to me, this relationship might have taken a different direction and who am I to object? Hang on, I will object. You know why? Reality is, I don’t really adore this fellow that much. Especially that long sulking attitude this person had. Seriously! I don’t need that, I don’t want to waste too much time trying to win back his attention, whatever mate! I want someone matured enough to justify my actions and accepts my weaknesses and I to him. If this is one sided effort, my hands are already up and away, waving goodbye to you~ life is complicated enough, there’s no need to further complicate it.

            Now, I am happier~ I learn a lot from this mishap. I guess if you’re just not into it, don’t encourage it. You’re just confusing yourself and not to mention, the trouble you could get into. So, here I am still in search for the one. Or am I really doing that? Honestly, no. I’m not in search. I’m just too happy being single to change it. =)

UTP- always in my heart =)

I think I ought to write something about UTP for the upcoming 11th anniversary of my batch admitting to UTP (6/6/99-perfect number don’t you think?). well, coming from me, this girl who wouldn’t miss her weekends at home for the whole 5 years in UTP (1999-2004), I know my friends esp. my fellow classmates and dorm/apartment mates would get cross-eyed. Suhaila? Writing about UTP? Seriously??? Alright, I know it’s odd enough but I’m going to do it anyway. Where’s the fun or harm? Heh~
    First off, let’s talk about what I loved/missed most about UTP. As I am a food lover, I do enjoy good food at an affordable price. Now tell me, which place would probably supply us with that? Universities food courts, of course! The reason is very simple, the power of subsidy! Though I must stressed that USM café sold much cheaper and better food than UTP, Pak Ali’s café wins amongst the ones available, hands down. The best thing about Pak Ali is that, this fella started out by just selling in a small hawker stall in the old cafetaria house (gosh, I have forgotten the name of it!). He only sold fried rice plus ayam masak merah and ayam madu. I still remembered it vividly! I was one of his regular customer. Until we all moved to V4, he also made his way there. And acting like a true enterpreneur, he expanded his business both inside and outside the campus (in case you’re wondering the owner of Jarum Emas, he’s the very same Pak Ali I’m rambling about now~). And the food selection is ever growing, especially during lunch time. Not to mention the cheap price tags! I love the fact that he is ever so lenient with his regular customers, never hurting the students feeling by being prudent or just a sickeningly rich arse. He stayed true to his ground, and always friendly to us. I simply love Pak Ali! During my MSc. in PE days, he was the one supplying our tea. And thus sometimes, I even got to hitch a ride with him. Plus the extra bottles of mineral water hahaha~ you get the whole idea. Well, thus I must say, the first thing I missed and loved the most about UTP is Pak Ali and his café. If I were to visit UTP again for leisure, Pak Ali’s Café is the first in the list!
    You must think I’m a tard geek and nerd when you heard the runner up for this list. Alright, I must admit, I missed and loved the most about UTP is the classes. Yes, you heard me. I miss all those classes and I loved them all. This will justify my weekend getaway at home. You know, in my opinion, UTP without the classes filling up the time will be like a dead-old-abandoned cowboy town. I really do miss those classes no matter how clueless they get sometimes (like CPIC-chemical process instrumentation & control, seriously I couldn’t get the hang of it, but B+ I got! Hehe~). I loved the fact that I’m waking up every morning heading to the classes. The busier my day, the better I felt. I still remember having to rush to my gamelan practices after classes. And not to mention when we were going to play for the inaugration convocation of UTP back in 2001, the nights were filled with practices though third year in chemical engineering was nowhere easy to handle. But honestly, I enjoyed every bit of it! If comparing those days to now, it seems that I had more than 24 hours now. Seriously! Those days were so packed, you’ve just got to manage your time well so that you’ll get enough sleep, which is always a priority to me. Hehehe~ Some of my favourite classes were Analytical Skills & Critical Thinking (wayyyy back in 1st year 2nd semester), Separation Process I & II (gosh, Dr. I-have-forgotten-his-name-but-one-heck-of-a-genius and his assistant, Pn. Anis Suhaila-their exam questions were bloody tough! The only paper I cried after the exam~ huhu~), all my Environment specialisation courses (Environmental Law & Reg., Air Pollution Engineering, Water & Wastewater Engineering, and Solid and Hazardous Waste Management), and C++ Programming (yes, I loved Dr Huq~ the best!). Oh, I do hates my math classes but I loved my lecturers all the same. I was so lucky to have such a great selections of lecturers who have taught me well in all my classes. I learned a lot from all these great classes and you know, we UTPians always have an edge over other university graduates be it locals or abroad. We really do! I don’t know if you guys notices this or not, at least I can say we can face any kind of challenges with optimism, and head-on. Absolutely no-fear. And since I’m currently in government agency, I can tell you that I am probably in 2020 as compared to the others. All thanks to UTP and the lessons I learned from there. I am so blessed, proud, and humbled at the same time. Alhamdulillah~
    Well, classes aside, one of the thing I enjoyed the most whilst in UTP was the in between munching, be it either in USM cafés or V4 café or the old café in wild wild west. These were crucial times to catch up with the latest gossip going round the campus, in whichever field of choices. Girls, boys, lecturers, pak guards, mak guards, you name it. Sometimes I felt guilty hearing them but I was usually one of those last persons knowing the juicy stuff so…. nope, not that guilty! Hehehe~ but yeah, great times. Sometimes we just rambled on and on about how tough that semester was and how this class make no sense at all, how that lecturer sucks at teaching, how we have not done our assignments or lab reports, etc. etc. But the times spent there were blissful, to say the least. We were definitely entitled to these breaks for we were engineering students! Did I mention how tough our programme was in the first place? But yeah, you get the whole idea of it. I recalled enjoying the wonderful American Breakfast platter, or the very first chicken chop haha~ yeah, the western café in USM food court was the first in the campus, thus the menu were famous. Oh, not to mention Nasi Goreng USA. I can’t quite process where the USA-ness of it but I do remember the colourful keropok that goes with it, yummy! Though the environment was nowhere colourful or eventful or picturesque even, I still rate the munching times in between classes were one of my best mo’ in UTP. And I am most definitely missing it. The topics nowadays were so blah! I mean, seriously, are people so disconnected to the world once they work or what? Or at least it seems that way where I am. If you’re unmarried, people keep on popping the million dollar question-when will we hear the wedding bells? Or if you’re married, you would be spending your muching time or gossip time with stories of your husbands or comparing whose children are smarter or cuter, you get what I mean. Duh duh duh~ very damn boring! WTH??? Gosh, get me out of here! So, if you could catch me in my office, I would be in my room, busying myself with my work, or playing solitaire, or my current rave, reading. I could finish any 500 pages of book in two weeks time, just by reading them in between my free time at the office. No, nothing of the sort of speed reading but tell you what, I’m bored to death at work. Seriously, I miss all the gangly gossips I used to enjoy listening to, if not participate in. Bring back those days!
    You know, I guess I’m one of the lucky students in UTP as my batch is the one that experience UTP in three different phases. My mates and I used to stay in the Metana block and it rated third in my most missed/loved stuff about UTP. I really loved and missed those wonderful times I spent in Metana common room. When we moved to V3/V4 apartments, we were all separated in our own houses. Watching favourite programmes such as WWF/WWE on Thursday nights or movie marathon on Friday night till dawn were never as fun as they were in Metana common room. First year was the best. I still remember hearing the Propana boys singing the National Anthem loudly when the clock strikes midnight. My fellow mates would do a comeback by singing Petronas anthem after that, hehehe~ just for the fun of it. Oohh ohh~ and remember the guys who used to skate boarding non-stop at night? Or even played the longest ping pong games ever? Mannnnn! I missed those times! I was never scared of staying up because I know these guys were awake the whole night, most especially on Friday nights. Common room was probably the best gathering place in UTP. Lunch time, dinner time, after dinner, you name it. It was always entertaining, eating whilst watching tv or chatting up or even gossipping. And I recalled studying last minute for Engineering Math I (Calculus I) paper and it went black-out! Talking about bad luck~ but still, alhamdulillah, I managed through the “ordeal” hehehe~ As for now? No more any of those fun times. Though we only use hanger’s wire as our tv arial, the pure fun and joyfulness of the moments spent together there are irreplaceable. Good times, bad times, happy, sad, the Metana common room witness them all. And yeah, those chit-chats on the steel staircase, priceless! Hang on, does all these memories indicates that I’m so lonely? Muahahhaha! No-lah, I’m just reminiscing good old times in UTP, my used-to-be most hated place, no kidding. Funny how memories can mock you. But they are definitely memories to be cherished, no doubt.
    Final say, Encik Ahmad Fadhil, a.k.a VJ, when are we having our grand reunion? My vote is we do it in UTP. Make it like our convocation. The weekends there, perhaps games, concert, treasure hunts, etc. etc. At least get ¾ of our batch to come over. Puh-leeeesss!

Well, I better pen off now. I hope to hear your most loved/missed mo’ in UTP. And perhaps we could have the “walking down the memory lane” book on that hehehe~ who knows? I’ve yet to come across one. Even if there is, it would never be as brilliant as ours, trust me. We are so blessed to have our bachelors degree there. It’s one heck of an experience!

Recaps on few weeks off!

First of all, I'm very sorry for the long lost of me during the past few weeks over my own blog. Okay, I was really busy, fall sick, attending and hosting a million events (a million? more of exaggeration~), and another week full of auditing events. Phew! I never thought I could be this busy! I mean, with my current job. But well, I'm enjoying myself despite being tired most of the time. That's life, I guess.

Well, there's nothing much to tell. It's really has been a few busy weeks. I was planning to do reviews on two books I have finished and now I'm starting on a new book. I wish to read the novel first and then go into the war history.

You know, I've finished reading this good book written by a brilliant writer, Farish A. Noor only to learn that he is a liberal who once had said nasty things to our beloved Prophet Muhammad S.A.W. I hurts me just thinking about that. But then again, I enjoyed the historical tour he had given me in his book. And I'm getting the second volume. I don't want to be judgemental, but certainly I'm against what he said about the prophet. He has no rights to do so.

Well, I better be off now. I need to relax and stay off from laptop. Haha~ see you guys next week or later!